Saturday, July 4, 2009

Tales of a Hermit

I have not left my house today.

Okay fine, I have barely left my house all week. I can actually list the number of times I have left my house since last weekend:
  • Dinner at grandmother's house (me preparing, her trying to eat with one hand as other is broken and in cast)
  • Playdate with niece all afternoon
  • Lunch with Grandfather
  • Shopping downtown - bought dress and jeans as was aforementioned
  • Gym twice - once for yoga class, once for half-hearted cardio workout
  • Pity dinner date with mother and her friend
  • Daily walks with Toby, man's best (and apparently my only) friend
That, sad to say is about it. I may have run a couple of errands (bank, drug store, etc) but I have essentially adopted the hermit lifestyle. I managed to do productive things like clean, dust, organise and re-arrange my entire room as well as read a book (Tuesdays with Morrie - an inspiring yet somehow overrated classic), do some writing and general contemplating about the state of my life / future which I suppose is good. I also feel very up on current affairs as I have read each daily paper front to back - save the Sports section which I always skip - as well as this week's Coast.

What I am trying to say is that I am bored off my rocker. I had intended to go to Toronto this past week which makes my incredible inactivity that much more unbearable. The other fact that makes my 'current state' unbearable is that it is of my own making. All I need to do is leave my house. If I want activity in my life all I have to do is take a deep breathe, step outside and be active. One of my weaknesses is that I too often wait for life to happen to me instead of voraciously seeking out life adventures.

I've been finding it hard these past few days because I don't really feel like there is anything for me in Halifax. All of my friends are away for the summer, I am living at home which I truly resent, I'm not really working, save for the occasional catering shift, and am no longer inspired or excited by this place. My plan has always been to do something amazingly wonderful in a far off place come autumn, and to take the summer to prepare for that. Only trouble is haven't yet figured out what amazingly wonderful thing it is I want to do. Sorting through a world of opportunity is no easy task and I feel kind of like I'm treading water with no sign of dry land. BUT I suppose all I can do is suit up, swim for some alien shore and hope the locals are friendly. (That will be the end of the poorly writ swimming/treading water analogies, I promise).

Next week it's back to what has been my mantra as of late: Forward Motion. I will be better - you'll see.

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